The holiday season is here again, and other than an awkward moment now and again at the store when I think the cashier isn't sure how to close the transaction, I haven't heard too much about appropriate seasonal greetings this year. Perhaps the story was killed last year. Perhaps I just lead a sheltered life. I don't mind being wished "Happy Holidays." Or anything else for that matter. I have been wished "Happy Hannukah" and of course "Merry Christmas," but I generally accept all kindly greetings in the spirit they are intended. It would be nice if those poor cashiers could wish me whatever it was in their heart to wish me (so long as it is civil, I guess).I've gotten used to the commercialization of Christmas. Everything is commercialized these days. I don't really fault Wal-Mart for having their seasonal displays up months before the holidays begin. It is kind of nice for people like me, because things seem to be going on clearance right about the time I'm thinking about buying them. I do wonder a bit about those millions of other people out there that make it profitable for stores to put out their displays earlier and earlier each year. But that is another story.
What does bother me is Santa. Yes, jolly old "St. Nick." Consider the following.
Santa is omniscient.
He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake.
Santa is omnipresent.
He participates in every parade around the country this time of year. He is in every mall. He is in every other movie or television program. And of course he is at the North Pole getting ready for the Big Night. I don't know what to make of that, either. In January of 1990, Spy Magazine published an interesting study on this famous seasonal character.Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each house, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house...(read the rest).Now, we know from Clement Clarke Moore's description in his famous poem, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas," that Santa spends considerably more time than 1/1000th of a second at each home. So he must be able to visit more than one at a time.
Santa is omnipotent.
Every year, the kind citizens of North Pole, Alaska receive thousands of letters addressed to Santa from around the world. Santa's elves answer his letters, delighting children with an answer and the North Pole postal mark. Sometimes they ask for the impossible. Fully expecting Santa to answer their prayers.
In his 10 years as an elf, Gabby Gaborik has seen every kind of request. There are the children who want the latest toys and gizmos they see on TV. There are the children who ask for miracles, orphans wanting their mother back for Christmas or a father back from Iraq, even though he died there. Many letter writers point out how good they've been. Some enclose a dollar bill to cover postage.And then there are those elves.
Santa's benevolent little helpers. Where do they come from? Most Americans think of elves as friendly little beings. After all, they helped the shoemaker in Cologne with his shoemaking duties, didn't they?Not exactly. That was a mistranslation. Those good-natured souls were not elves at all, but gnomes. In the Germanic tradition, elves are generally evil. Impish at best. In fact, the German word for "nightmare" (Alptraum) is a compound word using an older form of elf + dream. The most famous elf is the "Erlenkoenig" (Elven King) immortalized by Goethe in his poem by the same name. And his presence is synonymous with death. In the poem, a father is racing through the night to save his young boy when the elf king appears. The king attempts to entice the boy to follow him, showing him earthly treasures and beauty. Finally, near the dramatic ending, the king says, "...and if you aren't willing, I will use force." And the boy dies.
To be fair, there is an interesting discussion regarding the origins of the title and whether "Erlenkoening" can properly be translated as elven king. The word has ties to some southern gods, which Goethe may have had in mind. The root words, however, are the same. I'm no expert, but I believe the whole Germanic tradition of the elf may very well have stemmed from these ominous bringers of death. Either way, they aren't the nicest guys for Santa to be hanging out with.
Have a blessed Christmas. Enjoy the time with family and friends.
Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
--1Corinthians 1:3
--1Corinthians 1:3
Photo credits:
Christmas card, actually the world's first. Made by John Callcott Horsley (public domain)
Psychic Santa (cc license)
Rocket Santa
The Erlking (public domain)
Related Tags: Christmas, holidays, elves, humor
When i was a kid, it always kinda freaked me out. The idea of some strange man coming into my house at night after everyone was in bed. Even if he was bringing me presents, which, i never seemed to get much of, so i mustve been too bad (what i thought every year). I rememebr staying up one night and watching out the window, not out of excitement, but curiosity and of being scared, kinda like youd watch if you though soemone was gonna rob ya, lol. thats interesting about hte elves, i didnt k now that.
My little "sister" in Germany was terrified of him, too. She didn't want to go into the front room when it was time to open presents. Of course, it is a little more ominous over there as this stranger delivers presents during the day while you are home.
A lot of kids scream and cry at the store when parents want to set them in Santa's lap, too. Poor little things!
Love this post! Santa really is amazing,no? I enjoyed his comaprison to the attributes of God. It really puts things in perspective.
I do not like people to be dressed up in costumes where I cannot see their real faces, like clowns and those goofy big characters like Barney. Santa can skate by because he only has a beard. But he's still a little creepy to me.
My kids never get their pictures made with him, so I wonder what they would think if they met one, er, him.
And those wicked little elves...
There is so much about Santa that can cause one to rethink the jolly old fellow. I used to study a bit of Germanic mythology, and some of the comparisons to Odin are interesting. Odin usually appears as an old man, although in a blue coat. And he flies around on a reindeer. I can't remember the other comparisons without looking them up, but I found it interesting, nonetheless.
This article, too, is now featured at:
http://bah-humbug.blogspot.com/2006/12/carnival-of-hijacked-holidays-iv.html
Thank you for your submission!
Santa’s Little Helpers?
Santa has some cute little helpers called elves. Webster’s Dictionary has an interesting definition for the friendly elf:
ELF
1. A wandering spirit; a fairy; a hobgoblin; an imaginary being which our rude ancestors supposed to inhabit unfrequented places, and in various ways to affect mankind. . .
2. An evil spirit; a devil.
(Webster's Dictionary “elf”)
The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft has some interesting insights into Santa's Little Helpers. For instance, elves are Satan's fallen angels:
A host of supernatural beings and spirits who exist between earth and heaven. . . Fairies [Elves] are fall angels. When God cast Lucifer from heaven, the angels who were loyal to Lucifer plunged down toward hell with him.
(Rosemary Ellen Guiley, The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft, p. 115)
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.Revelation 12:9
The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft also writes that some elves have an appetite for human blood:
Some fairies [elves] were said to suck human blood like vampires.
(Rosemary Ellen Guiley, The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft, p. 116)
An interesting trick concerning elves is also given in The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft (p. 117). It seems some elves will grant peoples' wish and give them gifts – if that person will only deny their Christian faith! Can you say Santa Claus?
Elves are found in the writings of Satanist and new age-theosophy guru H.P. Blavatsky. She claims elves are "disembodied spirits," used in "magic and sorcery" and are "the principal agents in . . . seances." (H.P. Blavatsky, Isis Unveiled, Vol I, p. 262)
Elves are also called trolls. Cathy Burns writes in Masonic and Occult Symbols Illustrated:
. . . the word troll comes from the Old Norse word for demon and is defined by some sources as a "devil": a person of great wickedness or maliciousness. . . Of course, Santa has his elves, too.
(Cathy Burns, Masonic and Occult Symbols Illustrated, p. 67)
Elf: A small, often mischievous creature considered to have magical powers.' Although some of these creatures may appear cute on the surface, all of them are nonetheless demonic entities that have their origin in the occult world.
(Cathy Burns, Masonic and Occult Symbols Illustrated, p. 77)
The Dictionary of Symbolism states about elves:
Living beneath the surface of the earth, they have ties to the word of the dead; these "little people" are often thought of as inhabitants of the underworld [hell].
(Hans Biedermann, Dictionary of Symbolism, p. 107)
Before you completely discount elves to the world of fantasy and kooks, consider the research of Dr. Kurt Koch. Dr. Koch is without question the world's foremost authority on demonism and the occult. Dr. Koch, a devout Christian, has spent a life-time traveling world-wide, researching and documenting the real-world of demonism, devils and the occult. Dr. Koch has three complete pages documenting "Goblins and Elves" in his book Occult ABC. Dr. Koch writes of elves:
These elves often appear to children and even play with them. The moment an adult comes on the scene, the elves disappear. . . If a person wants their help, he must apply to their chief, the devil himself [Santa?]. This however, would cost a person his salvation. The idea these spirits are demonic in origin is in accordance with the Bible.
(Kurt Koch, Occult ABC, p. 82, 83)
Dr. Koch claims these elves' "chief" is the "devil himself" – Santa's Little Helpers. Notice how Dr, Koch and others keep linking these elves back to children.
The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft says elves, "love to visit new born babies of mortals. . ." (Rosemary Ellen Guiley, The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft, p. 116)
In Dr. Koch's book (pp. 82-85), he gives four detailed, documented actual accounts involving elves or demons. Dr. Koch, has encountered so many elf-demonic experiences, he says, "One could write a book just about these little people like the tomter [elves], but that is not my task." (Kurt Koch, Occult ABC, p. 83)
The great German Reformer Martin Luther also had encounters with elves or goblins. In his Table Talk book, Luther writes on one occasion:
The goblin [elf] jolted me in bed. But I took little notice of him. When I was almost asleep, he began such a rumbling on the stairs that you would have thought someone was throwing three score barrels of wine down them. I stood up, went to the stairs, and called out 'If it is you, so be it,' Then I committed myself to the Lord, of whom it is written, 'Thou hast put all things under His feet,' and went back to bed. That is the best way to get rid of him: to scorn him and call on Christ, That he cannot bear'.
(cited in Kurt Koch, Occult ABC, p. 84)
The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft writes, "Many contemporary Witches believe in fairies [elves] and some see them clairvoyantly." (Rosemary Ellen Guiley, The Encyclopedia of Witches and Witchcraft, p. 117)
In fact, the very popular book teaching witchcraft to teenagers titled Teen Witch by witch-author Silver RavenWolf even contains a spell to invoke elves. The spell called "Elf Locker Spell" is a spell to keep people from breaking into a teenagers school locker. The spell conjures up elves to protect their locker. Witch RavenWolf details the spell:
At school, hang the mirror, asking the locker elves (yes, there are elves in school) to protect the locker (Silver RavenWolf, Teen Witch, Wicca for a New Generation, p. 215).
Then the teen witch does some other silly, stupid stuff, and casts their spell (which the book gives in detail). The end of the spell is very, very interesting. Here's what RavenWolf writes, "At home, set the milk and honey outside to nourish the fairies. (p. 215)" Did you say "milk and honey"? Can you say "Ho, Ho, Ho"?
The Elves of Oz.
One of the most demon-possessed individuals is rock star, Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy’s claim to fame was lead singer of the "Satan-rock" band Black Sabbath. Ozzy is known for such bizarre and demonic behavior as biting the head off a bat and a dove.
On September 2, 1989, Ozzy and his demons nearly murdered his own wife. Here’s how his wife, Sharon Osbourne, describes the terrifying moment to Barbara Walters on 20/20:
I was downstairs reading. He came down with just his underpants on. And he's like,"We've come to a decision." And I'm like, "We've"? And he said "You have to die." And then he just dived on me and got me down on the and was just strangling me. But he was gone. There was blinkers on his eyes. He had gone. It wasn't Ozzy.
(20/20, Barbara Walters, Nov. 6, 2002)
Sharon later openly tells Barbara Walters on 20/20 of Ozzy’s "demon" and "little people" [ELVES] that live in Ozzy’s head.
He's just got this demon inside of him. He just can't get rid of these little people [ELVES] that live in his head.
(20/20, Barbara Walters, Nov. 6, 2002)
Ozzy’s wife Sharon also tells People Magazine that being married to Ozzy:
. . . is like living with several different people. One day he can be loving and romantic, but the next day he'll turn into this Jekyll and Hyde monster. I never know what I'm going to wake up with.
(People Magazine, July, 10, 1989, p. 94)
Ozzy told Hit Parader Magazine:
I really wish I knew why I’ve done some of the things I’ve done over the years. Sometimes I think that I’m possessed by some outside spirit. A few years ago, I was convinced of that – I thought I truly was possessed by the devil. I remember sitting through the Exorcist a dozen times, saying to myself, ‘Yeah, I can relate to that.
(Hit Parader, Nov., 1984, p. 49)
Yea, they sacrificed their sons and their daughters unto devils, [and Santa]. Psalm 106:37