If you want your child socialized...a public school satire
If you want your child socialized, you will have to send him to school. While he is getting ready, you'll have to pack his lunch.
When he gets to school, the children will probably stare at him because he isn't wearing the same brand of jeans.
Math will probably be review for him, so he'll know all the answers. The children will call him "calculator" and the teacher will give him extra worksheets. He'll probably learn that it is better to stay quiet and pretend not to know the answer.
Halfway through the morning, he'll start to get bored. He will probably begin to kick his legs, tip his chair and tap his pencil. The teacher will have to move him to the seat next to her desk. He'll ask when it will be time for break and she'll remind him to raise his hand. He'll raise his hand and she'll tell him it's time for silent reading. The children will probably giggle and he will just stare at his book.
Finally, it will be time for lunch. The teacher will remind them to keep their hands at their sides, to stay in line and not to talk. They probably won't be allowed to talk at lunch, either.
Your son will probably sit next to a girl he recognizes from church. She will smile and another boy will whisper to them. Your son may learn a rhyme or two and possibly some new words. She may blush and he will forget not to talk. He probably will shout. The lunch aide will take him to the office.
While he is in the office, you will probably get a phone call. You will find out your son does not know how to interact with his peers, is a disruptive influence and has difficulty concentrating. They will probably ask you if he has ADHD and recommend you take him to a doctor.
When it is time to pick him up, you will probably find him standing alone. He will tell you school was fine, but will refuse to answer any questions. He'll probably complain of a stomach ache. He'll probably have too much homework to have time to play with his friends.
And chances are, if you want him to learn social skills, you'll have to pull him out of school.
Inspired by that great children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (in case you didn't notice).
socialization, homeschooling, public school, homework
31 comments:
That's because school's love John Dewey. I just posted on this a couple of days ago...
http://milehimama.blogspot.com/2007/02/enemy-of-my-enemy.html
I can almost always tell homeschooled kids because they will talk to the baby, the children their own age, and the grown ups using real conversation. Somehow, isolated and imprisoned poor little Boo Radley children that they are, they are able to pick up social cues and function like adults in society!
My answer to the "what about socialization" question is, "Why would I want them to be socialists?".
I've got some of the kids in public school, and yep, they are nerds. I don't make them finish their homework either (c'mon, 1st grade? Please.)
You URL went off the side, but I'll find it. I agree with your view of "socialization." In fact, it is a pretty good summary of my beliefs on the subject.
So true an accurate. Once upon a time schools were about education. Now they're only about socialization -- as in creating good, quiet, subservient socialists.
When my son went to the local high school to take some sort of standardized test he was appalled at how the kids were like rats reacting to bells and buzzers passing through the halls in lines like zombies.. he came home and hugged me and said .. thanks mom..
nuff said.
People seem to place this aura around the word "socialization" as if it's always a good thing. The question we have to ask ourselves is "What kind of socialization?"
Has anyone here ever tried talking to a typical teenager? If ever I try to engage one in conversation, I can rarely get more than a mumbled one-word answer out of them. So much for twelve years of socialization!
My homeschoolers on the other hand are completely comfortable talking to adults and peers in any social situation.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Where education has gone in this country is disturbing...and it seems to go all the way back to the early 1800s. Today it is all about socialization. People have heard it so much they assume it is a valid reason for education, and is important enough to put up with substandard education system.
Thank you for this Dana! I am posting a link on my blog to this- It is so disheartening how many Christians don't see this. My heart breaks for loved ones that are in the PS right now. I can't tell you how many parents have turned their nose up at us when they discover that we homeschool while their children say they wish they could be homeschooled!
Mandi
What a great article! I recently wrote an article about socialization as well. It always amazes me that "what about socialization?" seems to be the first thing people ask when homeschooling is mentioned! I did a follow up to my article and posted a link to yours. It would be nice if we could get this question answered once and for all! :)
Ah, your post reminds me of the excellent comic:
Well, shoot. I can't get the strip itself to copy-and-paste, but click on the link for several near-scathing pro-homeschooling Mallard Fillmore comics.
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard061002.asp
Well, goodness! The link isn't appearing in its entirety. Try copying & pasting these two halves together.
First half: http://jewishworldreview.com/strips
Second half:
/mallard/2000/mallard061002.asp
Ha! This is a fun post!
I could be stepping into something dangerous here, but you all seem like such nice people--I'll give it a go. I tried to talk my husband into homeschooling our kids, but we ended up sending them to the public school where he teaches. While there is some truth to Dana's post, and plenty of humor, all public schools are not as useless as all that.
I have yet to see any school with kids expected to be quiet or "in lines like zombies." In fact, the opposite seems true. The lack of quiet in the school drives me crazy. Children don't seem to be expected to be able to sit for any length of time or to have to wait to use the restroom or to get a drink. They are up and out of their seats quite a bit. I haven't seen any of those "good, quiet, subservient" kids at our school. I think good, quiet, and obedient kids would be a dream because self discipline is one of the best things children can learn.
As for those restless, bored kids suspected of ADHD...I used to think that teachers were like that--rushing to suggest ADHD for any child who was restless. The idea of giving drugs to children to make them behave is abhorrent. However, after spending a day in my daughter's classroom and watching two little boys who had trouble behaving, I've come around. (And remember, this is in a classroom where the children have quite a bit of freedom to move around and speak up.) Both little guys couldn't sit still, both were up and out of their seats, both spoke out of turn. The difference was that one boy was still able to keep track of what the class was doing--never missed a beat, was able to answer whatever question the teacher asked, even if she didn't ask him. The other little boy couldn't track anything--had no idea what the class was doing or what he was supposed to be doing. After seeing both boys, I now think there may be something to the ADHD diagnosis. Do I know if this boy has ADHD? Nope. I'm not a doctor. All I'm saying is that there is misbehavior and then there is...something way different.
I have no problem with the idea of homeschooling. But please...all public schools are not bad places.
Thank you for your comment, anonymom.
No, not all public schools are horrible places, and that isn't really the point. The most frequently asked question homeschoolers report is "what about socialization." But what kind of socialization occurs in the public schools? The specific examples I chose to bring up in this little satire (which certainly isn't meant to imply that this is the experience of every child in every school)are based on some articles I have read recently and in particular the difficulties which gifted children experience in the classroom (you can follow the links to see the cases I'm referring to).
If you want more of a serious discussion about the socialization issue, this entry glosses over a few points, but provides links to a number of research articles on the topic.
This post probably most clarifies my thoughts on the disconnect between the current purposes of public education and what the purposes of most parents are in education.
btw, I'm not challenging ADHD as a true disorder. My brother has it, and believe me, it is real. But sometimes the problem lies more with the fact that little boys cannot be expected to sit still for so long, especially in environments (such as where recess has been eliminated like in the school where I taught).
I actually am a strong supporter of the idea of public education, but where it has gone in this country over recent years (trends which began back in the 1800s) is worthy of criticism. Education is too important of an issue to be held entirely in the hands of the state.
Feel free to ask any questions. I'm always happy for a bit of friendly discussion on any topic!
Socialization: "I can almost always tell homeschooled kids because they will talk to the baby, the children their own age, and the grown ups using real conversation. Somehow, isolated and imprisoned poor little Boo Radley children that they are, they are able to pick up social cues and function like adults in society!" I would be willing to bet that it isn't just homeschooled kids who are like that. Kids who aren't "socialized" by television tend to interact well with people of all ages, too. I'm not a fan of TV and if I had my way, I wouldn't have it in my house. TV teaches kids so many horrible lessons about the relationship between children and adults--adults are fools and children are hysterically funny when they are disrespectful.
As for children functioning like adults, well...I think I know what milehimama means, so I don't want to sound like this is a direct disagreement with her...but one of the things I most want to teach my children is that there is a difference between children and adults. Children behaving in a grown-up manner does not mean they are grown up. So many times I've seen children who interrupt conversations between adults, who sass grownups--because they don't recognize a difference between themselves and the grownups.
Ah...I'm getting a bit off topic here, aren't I?
I see the children who are in the gifted program at our school, and I think "gifted" just doesn't mean what it ought to mean. These kids are the ones who are just plain smart. Very, very few of them seem truly gifted to me, not even my own daughter. (Should you think to ask, No, I am not a specialist in gifted education.)
The gifted program, unless it has a truly gifted teacher, can be just more busy work taking children out of the regular classroom. I've seen both kinds of teachers in the gifted program; the current one is not a gifted teacher.
The best gifted "program" out there is probably the conversation around the dinner table. Challenging children to think about something in a new way is a wonderful thing to watch.
Like any program, the gifted program in any given school can be outstanding our virtually non-existent. I was in them throughout my education, and generally was just happy to get out of class but never took them particularly seriously.
The most outstanding teacher I have ever met was actually a special ed teacher. He was my role model for what a teacher should be, but that is a high demand!
I couldn't agree more with your closing statement:
"The best gifted "program" out there is probably the conversation around the dinner table. Challenging children to think about something in a new way is a wonderful thing to watch."
I would tend to extend that to all children, however.
I don't homeschool because the public school is inferior. I homeschool because of the inherent benefits of homeschooling: individualized instruction, the parent-child relationship, the ability to challenge in some areas while providing remediation in others, and the ability to extend every lesson into "real life" through normal conversation throughout the day.
I am critical of our public education system, but generally focus on the increased centralization of our system. Parents should be the ultimate authority over their child's education, and schools should be subject to their local school boards who are responsible to the parents within that district. When the system gets too centralized, the benefits of such a system are eroded, and children suffer.
Sorry, just saw your previous comment:
I don't think that milehimama's comment has anything to do with children who are disrespectful, interrupting, etc. She did not say that these children "acted like adults" but that they feel comfortable talking to a variety of people, including adults.
In fact, taken together with mimi's comment, I think the point is clear.
anonymom, there certainly is such a thing as ADHD - I was, and Ritalin made a huge difference to me. (It also had sufficiently troublesome side effects as to make me suspicious of all drugs, legal or not, forever after.) However, there are schools where 10% of the boys are on drugs for ADHD. When the numbers get that high, they're drugging "normal" (whatever that means) boys because the school cannot handle them.
I am a college student writing a paper on the Pro's and Con's of homeschooling.
Prior to this, I had not looked into it and had no established opinion.
I have always attended public schools and I have no resentment towards my parents for putting me through this "hideous travesty".
I find it difficult to believe that you all become so angry when you are stereotyped as a bunch of "hippie-granola eating-sandal wearers". Well, I become angry when I am stereotyped as a know-nothing-over socialized-drug addicted teen that "can't form words and simply mutters". While I agree that schools may promote socialism, I have enough of a brain to keep out of it. I have stimulated this brain through conventional means of education and am (GASP) ACTUALLY able to form my own opinions.
I think that you are doing the opposite of what you believe that you are doing, that is, barging into and controlling your children's lives when you think that you are staying out of them and promoting their individuality.
And another thing, my parents still love me, even though they weren't willing to drop everything to "unschool" me.
I appreciate your attention, and I feel much better now that I have let my frustrations out. I hope that someday your children will be able to do the same.
God bless.
(yes, I still have religious morals)
Anonymous,
No one said you had to disrespect your parents over their educational decisions for you. I was public schooled as well, and bear no hard feelings for anyone...my parents or any of my teachers. By and large, I had good teachers, and most of the teachers I have ever met have been very dedicated. (I used to teach in the public schools as well.)
No one has accused you of being oversocialized, undersocialized or to have abandoned God. I wouldn't think that your parents care any less about you. That isn't the issue. I don't even know you and haven't a clue where you got that from a satirical piece dealing with one aspect of one problem that some children face in the public school setting.
As for introducing your attack against homeschoolers with, "I had not looked into it and had no established opinion," I'm not sure how to take that. Either you are lying and have a very strong opinion, or you develop your opinion in a very reactionary way, ie., from a single blog post that wasn't even directed at you?
I assume nothing about all students in public education, their parents, their religious views, public school teachers or anything else. My issue is with the system, not any individual in it. And I hold that parents have the right to determine their child's education. That includes sending them to a public school, with no chastisement from me.
I am happy to discuss any or all of these issues with you, but the aggressive tone isn't necessary.
Thank you for visiting!
Hi, I am the same college student that posted the previous comment.
I was in no way trying to attack you for your decision in homeschooling your children.
I apoligize for taking out all of my frustrations onto your message board. I do realize that all of the things that I wrote were not relevent this particular piece.
Maybe you are right in that I had a pre-concieved notion about homeschooling and, if anything i was open minded to it. I naturally will feel that public school is all right because I turned out as a productive human from it. I, did, and honestly still feel that it is your right to school your children this way.
I do, although, think that you do seem to put all public schools under a negative stereotype that is not neccessary and, for the most part, not true. I am honestly concerned about how you make public school children out to be to your children. Are they all barbaric zombies timed by bells?
I'm sorry for the negative tone, it was not supposed to offend you, just to question some of your intentions in the comments you made.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you, Anonymous.
I'm not sure exactly what you are referring to. This is a satirical post, and thus by its nature is going to be a generalization. But that doesn't mean that all students have this experience.
I've never said that public school students are zombies. When I do speak about public school and the situation there, I generally criticize parents more than anything. Not that they are sending them to school, but those who are not involved in their children's lives. The parents' role in their children's lives is critical...the largest indicator of educational success which outweighs even the effects of poverty and all other socioeconomic factors.
I believe that public schools should be completely under local control, perhaps with some slight oversight from the state. The federal government has no business in it. Like I told anonymom, I am a strong supporter of the idea of public education, but what it has become in this country is very concerning.
The first solution is to put the system back under local control.
I am a strong supporter of homeschooling...if I didn't believe it were best for our family, I wouldn't do it. It is a lot of work. But a diverse system, including locally controlled public schools, private schools, charter schools and homeschools meets the individual needs of every student so long as there are parents concerned enough about their children to do what they need to do to make a child's educational experience productive.
Thank you, Anonymous.
I'm not sure exactly what you are referring to. This is a satirical post, and thus by its nature is going to be a generalization. But that doesn't mean that all students have this experience.
I've never said that public school students are zombies. When I do speak about public school and the situation there, I generally criticize parents more than anything. Not that they are sending them to school, but those who are not involved in their children's lives. The parents' role in their children's lives is critical...the largest indicator of educational success which outweighs even the effects of poverty and all other socioeconomic factors.
I believe that public schools should be completely under local control, perhaps with some slight oversight from the state. The federal government has no business in it. Like I told anonymom, I am a strong supporter of the idea of public education, but what it has become in this country is very concerning.
The first solution is to put the system back under local control.
I am a strong supporter of homeschooling...if I didn't believe it were best for our family, I wouldn't do it. It is a lot of work. But a diverse system, including locally controlled public schools, private schools, charter schools and homeschools meets the individual needs of every student so long as there are parents concerned enough about their children to do what they need to do to make a child's educational experience productive.
Reading this post actually brought back some vivid memories from my schooling in the 80s. I remember my classmates bemused thinking over what ways they could get on my nerves for the day without getting me all the way to lashing out at them, or attracting discipline from the teacher. I remember the teachers being disinclined to insist that students treat each other respectfully. I remember staring out the window or imagining my pencil was a space ship because I had already figured out the lesson and the rest of the class was formality. Of course my parents got a talking to about me "not paying attention, and day dreaming" in class. I remember going through my journals from that period a few years ago. It read like a nice kid who was being psychologically tortured by peers, absolutely bored with the classes, and generally hopeless, frustrated, and angry. I'm sure that's not how most of my classmates felt, but for students like me, it was probably not an optimal learning environment. It was never designed to be "optimal" from what I could tell. It really seemed like being part of a batch job in an industrial process. Industrialized Education. Perhaps one size fits all works for most students, but what about those who aren't like everyone else? Well most of what I've seen from nieces and nephews going through school is "make them do extra homework to keep them busy". But in one case, all that lead to was burnout, and that incredibly bright student dropped out .25 credits from graduation because they were so tired of the system. It was two years later that they finaly finished it off.
It think it would please me if progression through education was based on mastery of topics, rather than an arbitrary collection of students by age/peer group.
I agree, agc. I wish I had saved the article, now, but there was actually a recent story in the Washington Post about the advantages of students skipping grades. Ability grouping is coming back in vogue in elementary schools...skipping grades seems a natural part of that.
There are perhaps some disadvantages, but the vast majority of adults who had been accelerated in school found it beneficial.
Really funny post! Too bad some people get so defensive over what is clearly labeled as SATIRE. But, for whatever reason, the homeschool issue really makes a lot of people super defensive. We plan to homeschool our son, and are glad to see that the practice is growing. I enjoy your blog- thanks for all the high quality posts!
Thanks, Randa Clay! I agree...this wasn't intended to depict public school as evil. While I think homeschooling is generally the best educational option, that doesn't mean I "judge" other families for their choices.
And all of us who were public schooled likely had some difficulty at some time or another. It is part of life.
Dana - Wonderful article. It just amazes me that the school system has opted to turn our children into automatons. Bah. Whatever happened to individuality? I applaud those parents who recognized that the typical 'socialistic' school systems are out of whack and decided to home school their children. Kudos to them. Fortunately, I went to public school at a time when if you were a little "out of plumb" you were still accepted - I should know because I was one of those children.
Today, if someone has a challenge or does not fit into the mold, rather than taking the time, or having the patience to deal with it on a personal and caring level we fix them by prescribing medication.
And it's not just children, as you well know. Prosaic is so ubiquitous that it has been showing up in our drinking water supply.
"One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small, and the ones that mother gives you, doesn't do anything at all - Go ask Alice, when she was just small." (Jefferson Airplane - 1967)
Hello All,
I have spent the last 15 years teaching homeschooled students. During this time, only once have I seen a student who lacked social skills.
I do think it's a mistake to outright condemn public schools, as many have done here in their posts. The real world is never either black or white, only our perceptions of it are. Honestly, I see many advantages and disadvantages in both types of education. Every advantage comes with a disadvantage.
I agree that public education is quite poor. Homeschooled student are, as a rule, are at least a year or two ahead of public school students of the same age, but often have huge gaps in their knowledge. I also find few parents who are able to offer a well-rounded education to their children. It tends to be very costly and time consuming. I do see a lot of parents who pull it off successfully, but they are usually quite exceptional individuals.
Homeschooled students often are deficient in the same subjects that their parents are, and have a very difficult time with college entrance exams. Those that do go on to college, often come back after only a couple years. They have difficulty functioning under the stresses that come with our current educational system. I don't think education should be stressful, but these same stresses are also inherent in the workplace as well.
I don't think college education is much better than k-12. College has basically become a screening tool for employers. Instead of offering an education, they offer certification. What is very valuable about college are the many resources that they provide. A student that knows how to learn and has the will, can use those resources and come out of college with a fantastic education.
For my child, neither public education nor homeschooling is good enough. I opt for both. Although I would love to shield my child from the public school environment, that environment is the same one that they must be able to eventually function in.
Keep up the good work!
This is absolutely ridiculous.
I can't believe people actually believe this sort of thing.
Uh...it is satire. What exactly is there to believe or not believe?
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